Being a Mom Means......

Being a mom means different things to different people.  There is only 1 way to be a bad mom and that is to abuse your children.  But, here are some universal truths.

Being a mom means

1) No personal space.  There is always someone tugging on you or climbing on you and that can be your husband.  

2) Very little free time.  Even when you are away, you are thinking about them or planning for their meals, education, or them leaving home.  Your brain never turns off, EVER!

3) Your body is never the same.  Your bladder does not hold what it used to and can go off like fireworks with no forewarning.  Watch out for trampolines and really funny jokes.  Your belly button is not in the same location it was before you had kids.  You have these lines on your body and cellulite that someone should figure out how to market as substitutes for Jello.  Hairs grow in weird spots and don't even get me started on the teeth.

4) Your heart grows.  There is no way to explain how you can feel such love for another human being,  one who cries all night and bites your nipple and pees in your face.  Your heart must grow or humans would have gone extinct centuries ago!

5) Immortality.  All children have 1/2 their mom and 1/2 their dad in their genetics.  So some of you is left behind in some part of them.  Hopefully, it will be the sweet, kind, generous part of you!

6) Being hard on yourself.  You will constantly compare yourself to other mothers just like you compare yourself to other women.  Your family is your family.  What works for you may not work for someone else.  That being said, take advice from others.  Listen to those with experience and glean what you can from their years in the trenches.  Your mom may just be right(but don't tell her I said so).

7) Endless nights and years that fly by.  When you have a baby, all you can think, is when will I get a full night's sleep?  The nursing and diaper changes and stomach bugs seem to go on forever.  Before you know it, they are going off to college and getting married.  Time seems to stand still and fly by all at the same time.  My friend, S, says "longest nights, shortest days." So wise!

8) Heartache.  Your children are inevitably going to do something that breaks your heart. Remember the nipple biting comment?  Well, there's that. But then, they become teenagers and adults and think they can begin to make their own decisions.  They know it all! They may turn their backs on your beliefs or lifestyles.  All I can say is Pray!!!!

9) Making Tough Decisions.  Nurse or bottle? Stay at home or work? Traditional school or home school? Cloth diaper or disposable? Spank or not? Friends? Babysitters? College?  The decisions that will need to be  made are innumerable.  Every choice you make affects all other ones so tread lightly but once you make it, be confident knowing that God will see your heart and theirs.

10) Consistency.  Whatever you decide, BE CONSISTENT!  The worst thing for kids is not knowing the certainty of the future.  Kids want boundaries and discipline.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  If kids know you won't follow through with your threats then they will begin to manipulate and "work" you.  They will become those kids that no one wants to be around and then "those" kids grow into adults.  Whining and pouting and manipulating to get their way!  Don't be those parents !  We have too many of them!

Being a mom means that you get to celebrate Mother's Day!  Whether your children are with you or have gone on to Heaven to escort you in, have a great one!  Your are THE mom!

Twas the Time....

Twas the time before bed and up and down the hall,
Not a creature was stirring, not even Meatball.
The children were tucked in their beds with great care.
In hopes that tonight, they would stay there.

The laundry was nestled all snug in its drawers
And the dishes were cleaned until there were no more.
Dad is at the computer and I in the bath
We are hoping just to have time to relax.

When out in the hall, there arose such a clatter.
I sprang from the tub to see what was the matter.
As quickly as possible I ran across the floor
Turned the knob and threw open the door.

The light from the room shone into the hall,
illuminating feet that are very, very small.
And what to my wondering eyes should been seen
Small little children who should already be clean.

Sweet little eyes and chubby little cheeks
It is my son and he came to take a peek.
Quick like lightening, his siblings they came
And I as his mom began yelling their names.

"Get in bed, Isabela, AJay, Summie and Ella
or you will be some sorry little fellas.
To your rooms rights now and leave me be.
I need a few minutes of peace. Can't you see?"

They take off to their beds lest they see my wrath
All I wanted to do is to take a hot bath.
I don't know who installed the alarm on the floor
of the bathroom but I don't want to see it any more.


This is a poem I wrote in the bathtub the other night.  Can anyone relate?

Thankfulness #4

I am thankful this week for so many things!  If you haven't read my post The Hardest Thankgiving check it out!  It is a tale of a Thanksgiving that I thought would be my last.  Here is my list of things for which I am thankful:

1) my in-laws.  They treat me like I am 1 of their kids.  I never feel judged or less than a good daughter with them.  They adore my kids and raised a great son!

2)eBay.  Without it, my kids would have no Christmas.  We have some things on there for sale now and that will be gifts for my family.

3)the hard times!  This may sound weird but I draw closer to God during these times.  He feels like here draws near to me.  Truth is that He never moved, I did!

4)Christian music.  I can listen to it without having to explain things to my small children.  It is just as good if not better than any pop or country music that is out now.

5)my children.  I am so blessed to have 4 beautiful kids.  They are obedient and kind.  They think of others before they think of themselves.  They love my husband and me unconditionally.

6)my salvation.  Without it, I would still be wounded and hurt.  Raw, festering wounds that keep opening and oozing.  Jesus came in and cleansed me.  He cleaned out the wound and put His soothing balm of grace and mercy on it and it was healed.  I am thankful for the day that I asked Him to take up residence in my heart.

7)home schooling my kids.  I am so thankful that God has allowed me to do that.  I can't imagine them in public school.  They are thriving in such a great way!

Are you thanking God today for what He has done for you?  I am thankful for you all!

Consequences

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Sir Isaac Newton coined that phrase centuries ago when describing the Laws of Motion.  I will amend that and say for every action there is a consequence.  It can be a good consequence or a bad one.  But, something always happen when we act.  I touch a hot burner, I get burned.  It hurts and I learn quickly not to touch it again.  Both bad and good consequences come from it. 
Why then do people think that there should be no consequences for Penn St and everyone involved right down to the last, littlest person?  When someone(allegedly) harms a child in the way Sandusky did, there should be a severe consequence to him.  He should get burned and learn to never touch another child in that way again!  I can promise that those boys are feeling the consequences and that they will the rest of their lives.  As a victim of molestation and abuse myself, it is something that never goes away.  But, Sandusky was the worst sort of predator.  He actually(allegedly) set up a foundation where he "helped" young boys.  He most likely was pimping them out to big donors.  This absolutely disgusts me!  How much money did Penn St and the athletic department take from these donors and Sandusky himself?  Everyone should be cleaned out from the President down to the towel boy.  Every trainer, every scout, EVERYONE!  If Penn St wants to keep their reputation, they need to do what is right for the boys.  The cover up of the crime from all parties is beyond belief.
Then we have the students who rioted over the dismissal of Joe Paterno.  He should be gone and he should've been gone before he broke the record for most wins by a NCAA coach.  He knew and never turned it in to the police.  Sure, he told his boss but that is not enough.  Sometimes, you have to stick your neck out for the "least of these" and risk getting it chopped off to do what it right and just!  His reputation, had he done that, would be intact now.  But now it is tarnished and this will forever hang over his head and the university's.  People need to understand that there are consequences for their actions.  Sandusky will go to prison and so will others.  Penn St will lose money and football recruits.  But, is it enough?  What did these dozens of boys suffer?  Lifelong damage that is almost irreparable.  I have healed but I still have the memories.  They never go away.  They make me guarded in every aspect of my life.  If my child were a student at PSU, I would pull them out and demand a refund.  They would not get 1 more red cent from me.  This went all the way from top to bottom and no one ever thought of the welfare of the children.
I am disgusted!  This has disturbed me all week.  I pray desperately for the boys involved because if there are 8 of them that are pressing charges, then there are dozens more who are too ashamed to accuse him.  I pray for those involved in the crime's cover up.  I pray that they will seek forgiveness and make restitution for their doing nothing.  Lastly, I pray for Sandusky.  I pray that the Lord would convict him of his sin and turn him from his wicked ways.  I pray that he lives with the memory of what he's done and like touching a burner won't do it again.  I pray that justice is swift and severe.  I can assure you that God is not happy with what he has done and justice will be served by Him.

Wordless Wednesday-Easter

118 Days

118 days! That is how long I was on bed rest both at home and in the hospital!

The doctors tell you that you are to be on bed rest. Depending on the severity of your “rest”, they give you the parameters for your movement. I was told that I could go to the bath room and take a shower every other day and that was it. They told me how this was going to help the baby and how gravity is not my friend. They told me all kinds of things.

I want to tell you some things that THEY don’t tell you.

Bed Rest is not rest at all.

I admit that when they told me that I would have to lie down and only get up for the necessities, I thought, “Wow!! Finally, some rest!” As a mother of 3 small children, I tried to take my rest where I could. But after about 5 days, the restfulness became restlessness. I got tired of lying down. No matter how many times I turned from side to side and then on my back, I couldn’t get comfortable. My once soft pillow top bed became hard and lumpy and the same time. I was more tired at the end of the day than I had been on my feet.

Bed Rest is stressful.

Life is still going on. The world is still turning. Noses have to be wiped. Homes have to be cleaned. Meals have to be made. Laundry has to be done. Hugs must be given. I found that not being able to do these small things was stressful. The amount of mommy guilt and wife guilt were almost overwhelming. Watching someone else care for my kids, clean my ceiling fans, fold my underwear, and nourish my family made me feel so inadequate. I was so stressed out seeing life unfold before my eyes that I would cheat a little here and a little there. This led to bed rest in the hospital.

Bed Rest is not always understood by those around you.

I would get invites to lunch or women’s meetings. People would ask me why I couldn’t bring the kids to preschool. BR is something that is hard to grasp when you have never experienced it before. I had a hard time understanding what it meant as well. I wanted to get up and have supper with my family or I can just sit here and fold clothes or I can watch a movie with my hubby. I can help my daughter with her home work(at the kitchen table). No, you can’t! In my case, I couldn’t!

Watching TV all the time isn’t as great as it sounds!

I will confess to you that I love TV! I always have and I always will. Don’t ask me to go unplugged for a week. I will mutiny! That being said, during my unfortunate incapacitation, there was nothing on TV. I was on bed rest during the writers’ strike and so all the shows were reruns. I was forced to watch reality shows and I only like a few of those. I did catch up on all the old Cosby Shows that I had missed. I love that show and got quite a few parenting tips from it.

Bed Rest does weird things to your body.

Everything ached! Even my teeth hurt at times. Near the end of my 4 months, I could barely walk down the hall to my room. I was winded and my legs were weak. I had to sit in the shower on a stool in order to bathe. I could only shower for 3 minutes but even for that short amount of a time, I couldn’t stand up and of course, baths were out of the question.

We take life for granted.

Fresh air became a precious commodity. When it became obvious that I was going to be in the hospital for a long time, I made them promise to take me outside at a certain week. It was a reward for lasting so long with broken waters and very little amniotic fluid. I had 5 minutes in a wheel chair in the driveway of the hospital to see the outside world. Tears streamed down my cheeks as the breeze caressed my face. My eyes feasted on the beauty of the mountains and the color of the sky. For weeks, I could only see a brick wall out of my window. On the drive home after having my son, I sobbed at seeing the trees without their leaves and the starkness of the winter’s hand on my town. The smell of my home and the softness of my bed were welcome stimuli.

Bed Rest is filled with heart ache.

My heart broke watching my kids grow up before my eyes without my help. I heard my son call someone else “Mom”. At my daughter’s kindergarten graduation, the video they showed might as well have been one of someone else’s kid. I recognized nothing. I wasn’t there! Christmas morning via SKYPE is just not the same. Each child walked up to the lap top and wished me a Merry Christmas and showed off what Santa had brought. It was just not the same!

Bed Rest brings blessings!

I was able to visit with family and friends that I had not seen in a while. I was able to share my faith with those who were worried. I was able to be an example to my children about how to handle crises in life. I have been able to help others who have to be on bed rest. I have a beautiful son who is healthy despite all the odds against us both. My husband and I are closer than we have ever been. I found out who truly loves my family and me. I found out who my true friends are! I found a community. I found my voice. I began writing during this time and haven’t stopped since.

Try to find the blessings in your situations. Hard times are going to come. How we handle them is the legacy we leave our kids.