Making Mom's Life a Little Easier

Lionel Richie sang a song called "Easy Like Sunday Morning".  Ole Lionel must never have had to feed and get 4 children ready for church and then get them to the van and to church on time.  Sunday morning is never easy.  Being a mom, in general, is not easy.  When the children are small, they require diaper changes, feedings, naps, cleaning, and cuddle time(required by moms).  As they get older, they switch out diaper changes for school and naps for ball or music practice or dance.  Sure, they can do more for themselves but they now require a taxi service and a personal shopper/stylist.  They still need food and bathing but not as much cuddle time anymore.  I have 4 kids that range from 5-10, 2 girls, 2 boys.  All 4 play baseball or softball.  They are schooled at home.  We attend church several times during the week and do various field trips, play dates, and other extra curricular activities.  Time can get away from us.  I thought I would share how I get it all done.  I know you are on the edge of your seats so, hang on......

1. I don't get it all done.  At any time, my house will be in various states of disarray.  I do rely on my children to do things around the house.  They can dust, Swiffer the floors, load and unload the dishwasher, clean the bathrooms, wash, dry, and fold the laundry and put it away.  Let them help.  As they get older, you will be thankful and so will their spouses.

2. Reorganize the drawers in your home.    This little step will make putting away laundry so much easier.  Instead of stacking, put the clothes in rows.

   You can fit twice as much in there and the clothes are easily seen.  The kids can pick out their clothes with minimal amounts of fuss.  Notice this has sweaters in it.

3. Come up with easy to fix suppers.  We have had ball this spring Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri nights and Sat mornings.  We can either eat out every day or I can fix the kids something home made without breaking the bank.  Grilled cheeses wrapped in parchment paper and home made potato chips in paper bags make a great to go supper.  But these sandwiches are amazing.

Ingredients:
Bread, tomato sauce(garlic salt mixed in), provolone cheese, pepperoni, butter

Spread sauce lightly on bread and line pepperonis on it and then cheese.  Put the sandwich together and using the butter, grill them like you do grilled cheeses.  Amazing!  Hard to go back to the regular way!

4. Do small amounts of laundry.  Do at least 1 load per day.  That is so much easier than waiting until you have 6 loads.  Keep is simple. 

5. Pick 1 big project per 2 days(or week, if life is busier than usual).  Work on it in small spurts until it is done.  Like cleaning out cabinets or cleaning windows or Swiffering the walls.  My pantry needs done.  I will be doing that next week!

These are just ways that I am able to do all that I do.  I work 3-4 nights per week and volunteer and home school and exercise 6 days.  You can do it!

Being a Mom Doesn't Mean...

If you read my post on what being a mom means, then this current one speaks to what being a mom doesn't mean.

Being a Mom doesn't mean....

1) You know it all.  As a matter of fact, motherhood shows you that you know very little.  What do you do when a baby won't quit screaming or won't eat?  What do you do when they become mouthy teenagers?  Do you know the answer?

2) You are complete.  If you depend on your children to make you complete, you will come up disappointed every time.  Children will disobey you and hurt you and maybe even turn their backs.  There is only 1 thing that will make you complete and that is Jesus Christ.

3) Using the guilt trip.  Now, there are times where the ol' GT works wonders but when it becomes a method for you to get what you want from your children, then you are no better than a toddler who throws herself down on the ground and pitches a fit.  It's ugly and embarrassing and most people just shake their heads and move on.  If you are still doing it when your kids are adults, then you are sad.  If you are still allowing yourself to manipulated by guilt from your mom then, don't give in to it anymore!  Free yourself!  It feels so good!

4) That you will have perfect kids.  Well-behaved children are a result of love, mercy, and consistent discipline.  So many people tell me how good my children are.  That is not because I beat them or crush them.  It is because we have consistently loved and disciplined our children.  Giving kids and yourself boundaries is healthy and helpful.  They want them and yet some parents just let kids do and say whatever they want cause nothing "works" for their kids. Spanking doesn't work.  Time-outs don't work.  Be consistent!  When you say that they will be in trouble if.....  then, they should get in trouble when they....They will push your buttons and boundaries.  Sure, it is exhausting but as they get older, they will respect you and know that you mean business.  If you don't do it when they are young, then when they are teens they will know that you don't mean what you say and they will get away with it!

5) That you will be loved.  When babies are born, they are little life suckers.  They take take take.  Milk, sleep, time, brain cells.  They need and want it all.  If you seek to have a child so that you will be loved, then you are in for a shock.  You feel intense amounts of love for them but until they are about 2 they don't know how to love you back.  That is a lot of work to put in if you need the love immediately.  Kids are not a fix for a relationship or for your own pain.  They exacerbate the deficit.  If you don't have it, then you won't be able to give it.  You will feel frustrated and worn down very quickly!

Being a mom is so rewarding but takes a ton of your time.  You will utilize lots of prayer and coffee so begin before so you are ready!

Being a Mom Means......

Being a mom means different things to different people.  There is only 1 way to be a bad mom and that is to abuse your children.  But, here are some universal truths.

Being a mom means

1) No personal space.  There is always someone tugging on you or climbing on you and that can be your husband.  

2) Very little free time.  Even when you are away, you are thinking about them or planning for their meals, education, or them leaving home.  Your brain never turns off, EVER!

3) Your body is never the same.  Your bladder does not hold what it used to and can go off like fireworks with no forewarning.  Watch out for trampolines and really funny jokes.  Your belly button is not in the same location it was before you had kids.  You have these lines on your body and cellulite that someone should figure out how to market as substitutes for Jello.  Hairs grow in weird spots and don't even get me started on the teeth.

4) Your heart grows.  There is no way to explain how you can feel such love for another human being,  one who cries all night and bites your nipple and pees in your face.  Your heart must grow or humans would have gone extinct centuries ago!

5) Immortality.  All children have 1/2 their mom and 1/2 their dad in their genetics.  So some of you is left behind in some part of them.  Hopefully, it will be the sweet, kind, generous part of you!

6) Being hard on yourself.  You will constantly compare yourself to other mothers just like you compare yourself to other women.  Your family is your family.  What works for you may not work for someone else.  That being said, take advice from others.  Listen to those with experience and glean what you can from their years in the trenches.  Your mom may just be right(but don't tell her I said so).

7) Endless nights and years that fly by.  When you have a baby, all you can think, is when will I get a full night's sleep?  The nursing and diaper changes and stomach bugs seem to go on forever.  Before you know it, they are going off to college and getting married.  Time seems to stand still and fly by all at the same time.  My friend, S, says "longest nights, shortest days." So wise!

8) Heartache.  Your children are inevitably going to do something that breaks your heart. Remember the nipple biting comment?  Well, there's that. But then, they become teenagers and adults and think they can begin to make their own decisions.  They know it all! They may turn their backs on your beliefs or lifestyles.  All I can say is Pray!!!!

9) Making Tough Decisions.  Nurse or bottle? Stay at home or work? Traditional school or home school? Cloth diaper or disposable? Spank or not? Friends? Babysitters? College?  The decisions that will need to be  made are innumerable.  Every choice you make affects all other ones so tread lightly but once you make it, be confident knowing that God will see your heart and theirs.

10) Consistency.  Whatever you decide, BE CONSISTENT!  The worst thing for kids is not knowing the certainty of the future.  Kids want boundaries and discipline.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  If kids know you won't follow through with your threats then they will begin to manipulate and "work" you.  They will become those kids that no one wants to be around and then "those" kids grow into adults.  Whining and pouting and manipulating to get their way!  Don't be those parents !  We have too many of them!

Being a mom means that you get to celebrate Mother's Day!  Whether your children are with you or have gone on to Heaven to escort you in, have a great one!  Your are THE mom!

What Not to Do....

.....when sending your kids to public school. I know, I know. If you read my post from yesterday, then you know I home school my kids. Why, then, do I have a qualifications to talk about public schools? Well, I went to PS for 13 years and I taught high school for 3 years. I have been on both sides of the desk. I have some things to say about it.

1) Don't assume that the teachers can do it all.
         They can only do so much. A TON of teaching goes on at home, bad or good! Don't let the students slack off at home!

2) Don't put your kids on the bus and let that be it!
         Get involved!  Help out!  Be teacher's helper or serve on PTO.

3) Don't skip school board meetings.
         Policy is made, curriculum chosen, and other important decisions are made there!

4) Don't assume that your kid didn't do it!
         Sometimes, they did do it! Most times, they did it! I had a student dislocate my pinky finger and yet when his dad came in and my finger was hanging there, he said that his son couldn't possibly have done it. Ummm, yep, he did! The next week, he put his step mom in ICU. Really?

5) Don't let your kids be the only one to choose their friends?
         Now, don't get your knickers in a twist! The human brain doesn't fully develop until sometime between 23 & 26. Meet them, interview them, get to know them. Have them over for a meal! Meet their family. One of our jobs as parents is to help our kids and guide them to make wise decisions. Are their values the same as yours? Do they believe like you do? When your beliefs don't line up, who will bring the other closer to theirs? Think about it!

Some "don't"s. Next week, I will publish some "do"s.

What Not to Do......

.......when homeschooling your child. I have made every mistake that could possibly be made since I began home schooling my kids 7 years ago. Learn from my foibles....

1) Don't assume that how you begin is how you will finish.
I have changed so much since my 5th grader's kindergarten year. I was so rigid and structured when I started and now I am a little more relaxed. I have morphed into someone I would not have recognized lo that many years ago. I might even look into un-schooling one day. Nah! See there I did it again.

2) Don't let the terminology scare you.
What does that mean? Sometimes, in situations where we are extremely comfortable, we speak with the lingo that is used in that situation. For instance, I wait tables and I use terms like 86'ed and cut and code terms that we use frequently. In home schooling, there are terms like un-schooling, lap booking, note booking, and classic Charlotte Mason. They can be intimidating! Don't let them! Do what you like to do and your kids will like it, as well! They will see your passion and your heart and follow suit.

3) Don't compare yourself to everyone else! We rate ourselves against public schools, private and other home schools. Why do we do that? We just set ourselves up for failure and disappointment when we try to be like others. Our children are different and our families from others. We have different life experiences and expertise from which to draw. Use them to your advantage!

4) If you have multiple children, don't compare them to one another. This is where public schools fail our kids. They lump them all together and expect them to all perform the same. We all have our own talents and as parent/teachers, we should seek to bring out what strengths they have. That is the benefit of having 2, 3, or 4 kids versus 28-30. If your child likes to work with their hands, then let him play with Legos. If your child excels in art, then having them draw or paint while you read to them. The words will sink in more clearly.

5) Don't stress out when you need a mental health day! The rigors of being with your kids all day, everyday can get to you. Bake together or watch a movie. Let the older kids "school" the other ones and watch what happens.

6) Don't do things like public schools do! This is the reason you don't send them there! The way they are doing things does not work for you so why would you even want to do that? Let PS do what they do and you do what you do! For the love of Pete! So, you don't get 180 days or you don't go from 8-3. So what? Of course, check with your state to see what the regs are but relax a little!

These are just a few don'ts. Don't worry! I will be giving some "do"s next week but tomorrow I will tackle don'ts of a public school.

She Blinded Me With......

Many of you will have sung "science" in your best Thomas Dolby voice but the fill in the blank is........white thighs!  Yes, Ma'am!  Spring is sprung!  The weather is warmer.  Trees are blooming.  Flowers are poking their heads out of the ground.  My husband no longer looks like a candidate for Duck Dynasty.  His no shave November turned into no shave March. 

But, I digress.  I went for a run in my running shorts today!  I apologize to the neighbors for the absence of color that is my thigh times 2!  I could see drivers shielding their eyes!  The whiteness that emerges from a long winter covered by jeans and cords and boots is a color not on the color wheel.  It is the absence of all color at all.  And I exposed them to the world yesterday.  There was no gradual ease into it.  There was a just a cold turkey approach to the process.  That is just how I roll! 

1 bit of good news!  Because of the exercises that I have been doing this winter, at least wasn't jiggling as I ran.  Some people have asked what I do so I am going to publish my workout routine.  I do this 3-4 times per week mixed with cardio.  Apparently,I am at the age where talking about bone density is a necessity.  Weight bearing exercises help your bone density.  When did I get so old?  This will help that!

My workout:
Jumping jacks.  Start with 25-50.  I am now up to 100

Traditional squats.  I use dumbbells at 5# each to add to resistance.  Start with feet shoulder width apart. Hold weights by your side.  Stick your behind out and sit down until your thighs are parallel to the floor.  Stand back up.  That is 1.  Start with 15 in a set.

Around the worlds.  I use the aforementioned dumbbells and hold them in front of me by my legs palms facing out.  Circle your arms around until they meet over your head. Return them to starting position. That is 1 set.  Start with 12 in a set.  You can do this lying down but I do it in a standing position.   

Plie squats.  Dumbbells. Feet shoulder width apart toes pointing out.  Lower yourself down until your thighs are parallel to the ground.  Raise up into the starting position.  That is 1 rep.  Begin with 15 in a set.

Push ups.  I alternate these incline and traditional.  Start with as many as you can do.  I could only do 5 when I began.  Now, I do about 25 per set.

Secret squats.  My friend, K, showed me these and boy, howdy do they work.  I call them stripper squats as I don't know what else to call them.  Dumbbells.  Feet shoulder width apart.  Lower yourself into a squat and remain in the static squat and raise yourself up onto your toes.  Lower your heels back to the ground all while remaining in the squat.  I wouldn't do too many of these on your 1st day because the next day you won't be able to walk.  12 reps in a set.
(I will sometimes alternate these with cross over lunges which also work the inner thighs.  Feet together.  Dumbbells. Right foot forward cross it over your left leg and lower into a lunge.)

Go back to jumping jacks and begin again.  3 sets of each in all.  I, now, do 60 squats, plies, and secret squats in each set with 25 around the worlds and 25 push ups.  Not easy but my behind and thighs thank me for it.  Yours will, too!  Leave a comment and let me know if you tried it.

It's Friday....Sunday's Comin

This sermon is by far one of the best I have ever heard.  So powerful!  Love to have been in that church when it was preached!  S.M. Lockridge delivered this sermon and it has stuck with me for years!