If you read my post on what being a mom means, then this current one speaks to what being a mom doesn't mean.
Being a Mom doesn't mean....
1) You know it all. As a matter of fact, motherhood shows you that you know very little. What do you do when a baby won't quit screaming or won't eat? What do you do when they become mouthy teenagers? Do you know the answer?
2) You are complete. If you depend on your children to make you complete, you will come up disappointed every time. Children will disobey you and hurt you and maybe even turn their backs. There is only 1 thing that will make you complete and that is Jesus Christ.
3) Using the guilt trip. Now, there are times where the ol' GT works wonders but when it becomes a method for you to get what you want from your children, then you are no better than a toddler who throws herself down on the ground and pitches a fit. It's ugly and embarrassing and most people just shake their heads and move on. If you are still doing it when your kids are adults, then you are sad. If you are still allowing yourself to manipulated by guilt from your mom then, don't give in to it anymore! Free yourself! It feels so good!
4) That you will have perfect kids. Well-behaved children are a result of love, mercy, and consistent discipline. So many people tell me how good my children are. That is not because I beat them or crush them. It is because we have consistently loved and disciplined our children. Giving kids and yourself boundaries is healthy and helpful. They want them and yet some parents just let kids do and say whatever they want cause nothing "works" for their kids. Spanking doesn't work. Time-outs don't work. Be consistent! When you say that they will be in trouble if..... then, they should get in trouble when they....They will push your buttons and boundaries. Sure, it is exhausting but as they get older, they will respect you and know that you mean business. If you don't do it when they are young, then when they are teens they will know that you don't mean what you say and they will get away with it!
5) That you will be loved. When babies are born, they are little life suckers. They take take take. Milk, sleep, time, brain cells. They need and want it all. If you seek to have a child so that you will be loved, then you are in for a shock. You feel intense amounts of love for them but until they are about 2 they don't know how to love you back. That is a lot of work to put in if you need the love immediately. Kids are not a fix for a relationship or for your own pain. They exacerbate the deficit. If you don't have it, then you won't be able to give it. You will feel frustrated and worn down very quickly!
Being a mom is so rewarding but takes a ton of your time. You will utilize lots of prayer and coffee so begin before so you are ready!