Monday, September 7, 2009

Observations from King Apple

These thoughts came to me as I had caramel dripping from my mouth and funnel cake fresh in my tummy. I have the privilege to work in a restaurant right smack dab in the middle of downtown Hendersonville. This weekend was different, though. It was King Apple Festival. First, I want to know who is King Apple and what does his crown look like? Are there "galas" to introduce our young daughters and sons to his prince or princes? What does the royal carriage look like? Did we forget Queen Apple? Anyway, I digress. This establishment saw many things due to the sheer numbers of people that came through our doors(approximately 6000). We had some trials but all in all things went smoothly. I would like to share some of these things with you. Some brought a smile to my face and some made me angry.
Let me start with the way people dress. Oh my word! What are some people thinking? If you are over 25 years old, weigh more than 140 lbs, or a man, you shouldn't wear tank tops, halter tops, strapless numbers, short shorts, or skirts. I am so anti-back fat. No, not fatback( I like fatback) but back fat. You know when you put on your bra and the fat above the bra hangs over the strap? That is gross! People wear these things and it looks like they have boobs on their backs. Not a great look for anyone. If you are of a certain age or are a man, short shorts/skirts are not appropriate. Men, jorts(jean shorts which are so popular with Florida fans) are not a good fashion statement. Also, let's put some sleeves on our shirts. I hate arm pit hair. It creeps me out and seeing yours makes me want to gag. Wife beaters are so out of fashion, though I am not sure they were ever "in." Ladies, wearing a skirt that barely covers your cheeks just says one thing. I can't write the word but I hope that you can imagine what I am thinking. How can we even begin to get anyone to take us seriously when they can see our butt cheeks? Is that what you want people to notice about you? Cheeks and back fat?
Ok, moving on cause I could spend all day on what people wear. Now, this is called an apple festival. A festival by definition is merrymaking and revelry. You are supposed to be happy! You have funnel cakes, apple slushies, and apple ice cream, for Pete's sake. What reason do you have to be so crabby? Several people came into the restaurant and began fussing at our hosts before they even got fully into the door. For stupid reasons! How are they responsible for all the people crammed into our booths and tables. We had this 1 lady who couldn't understand that we were on a wait and we wouldn't put 2-3 people in a booth that sat 6-7. Not that hard to comprehend when you see all the people who got there before you. What does yelling get you? The hottest table in the restaurant! Yell at my hosts again! People were angry about the heat, the amount of ice in their glasses, the amount of noise. Yes, I know it is hot. I am wearing a long sleeve blue oxford and long black pants. I have sweat rolling down my face and other body parts that you can't see. There are 200+ people in the restaurant and the pizza oven is cranking out about 6 pizzas per minute at 600 degrees! The ice maker couldn't keep up with the heat and the demand so we brought in bagged ice. Poor thing just finally quit. Don't yell at the teenagers at the front door!
I saw some sweet children come through laughing and showing off their face painting. Some came through asleep on a parent's shoulder or in the stroller. Many wanted to sing and dance their way through the room. They were festive!
I close with the funniest story of the weekend. I was at the front door talking to the hosts on Sunday and these people came through the door and quickly scooted by us. They were carrying food and drinks. I turned to see what they were doing. They sat down in my empty booth. I walked over to ask them what they were doing. They just blatantly told me that they wanted to get in out of the heat and eat their food. I think my chin struck the table cause one of the men asked, "that awright with you?" No, no it is not "awright" with me. I told them that they can't bring food into a food selling establishment. Would you take beer into a bar? Coffee into Starbucks? I asked them politely to leave. When they did, I just chuckled. That took some guts!
So, King Apple, I am glad you are done. The core of you is good but too much makes me tired and sick! Until next year, keep it crisp and sweet!
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