Monday, July 14, 2008

Forgive a Mommy

I hope that you'll indulge me for a moment. My oldest daughter turned 6 this weekend and I am waxing nostalgic. I can hardly remember what we were like before we had children or what life was like with a full night's sleep. But all in all, what we gained was so much more than what we lost.
Things that I remember:
my anxious waiting before her birth, my surprise at how well the spinal worked, our utter shock when the doctor said that she was a girl, the tears in Michael's eyes when he saw her for the 1st time, the way he looked like a marshmallow dressed up for the section, how clueless we actually were, how afraid of a 6 lb 9 oz baby we were, the way we felt after many night with no sleep, how beautiful she was when she was born, Michael's face when he changed the 1st messy diaper(you know, the tar stuff), feeling like we were so unqualified to take her home(what were they thinking giving her to us with no test or anything, we did more at the DMV), the way I felt after she nursed for the first time(correctly).
The years seem to have flown by before I could stop them. I don't want her not to grow up but I want to slow it down a little. Before I know it, she'll be off to college. I don't miss the potty training years or the terrible 2s or the horrendous 3s but I will miss other things like the way she smelled when she woke up from a nap, who knew that sleep had a smell. Or I'll miss the way she loved to read the same book 15 times in a row(Monster at the End of the Book). Her sweet expressions and her love of the elderly will be only precious memories.
I am looking forward to the mommy/daughter times that we will have in the future like talking about boys and her plan for life. Her accepting Jesus into her heart and the way she looks at her dad ( he is her hero) are things that I anticipate. I want to be there for her 1st broken heart and her 1st period(which often come at the same time) . I want to see her walk down the aisle on her father's arm and look into the eyes of the man she is going to marry and pledge herself to him before God and her family(Michael says that she has to be at least 35). I want to be at the birth of my grandchild and remember back to when she was born early on a Friday morning to 2 unsuspecting parents who had no idea what they were about to get themselves into.
I thank you God for my sweet baby girl and her precious spirit. Thank You for letting us borrow her for this short time we have on earth. May we grow with her to be the parents you intended us to be. Help us to love more and to yell less. Thank You, God, for letting me live through this past year to see her grow up. I hope that we will do You proud!
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