Thursday, March 24, 2011

Transparent Thursday

This week has just been weird and since Monday started it off that way, the week has been crappy(pardon the language). I did have some confessors last week and decided to post those today.

Karen from StrictlySimpleStyle says that she has secretly celebrated when one of her kids' practices got rained out. Me, too! Sometimes I am just tired, you know?

Marie from Improving on the Silence says that she stashes her favorite popcorn and only brings it out when no one else is home so that she gets to enjoy it. If she puts it in the pantry, it will be gone! So true, Marie, so true.

As for me, I have not blogged this week due to some events happening in my life. I have felt myself slipping back into my depression. I haven't felt this way for several years. I feel beat up and run down and unwanted and unloved. I am also angry!!! People telling lies about me gets me riled up. I have yet to decide how to handle the situation. My old self wants to call this person up and just let them "have it." My new person knows that this may not be the best option. So in order not to sin in my anger, I have just kept my mouth shut. I have spoken to a few close mentors about the topic in general with no details. I have also spoken to the Lord. He assured me that He knows and that He knows the kind of person I am and who He is making me into. He feels my betrayal because He was betrayed. He feels my hurt that people who claim to know me choose to believe the other person(someone they have never met). People who followed Him one day were chanting "Crucify Him" the next. I can't say how many tears I have cried and how torn up my stomach has been. My pride has been crushed and my spirit stifled. I am using this time to reflect on my calling and where God wants me and what He wants me to do.

Ok, confessed a BIGGIE this week! If you see me this week and I appear happy, know that I am probably faking it! Just saying!
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