ABCs of Me: Family, Friends, and Flaws and 40(almost)

In my alphabet pursuit, I am up to the letter "F".    My hubby turns 40 next week and I am chasing him quickly.  I will hit this milestone in February.  Here are some observations as I begin to reflect on my life.

Family
Family is usually stressful and crazy.  But, family in whatever form is family.  Family is the foundation of your identity, your place in the world, and your physical characteristics.  Sometimes, our foundation is not stable.  Luckily, God can come in and repair the foundation and help us to build a more stable edifice in which to house our lives.  The family in which I grew up was/is crazy and weird and not always edifying but I have taken the love, the insanity, and the values and used them along with my husband's to build our little family.  We can't wait to see what our kids say about us once they grow up.  The American dream is to make our children's lives better than our own.  I want our children to have more love, more stability, less crazy, and more surety in who they are than I had(and I had quite a bit of all of that).  We may shelter them and keep from them some of the most crazy stuff, but that is so that they won't have the burden of growing up knowing what it is like to be unwanted and unloved.

Friends
When I was little, my mom said that I never met a stranger.  I would come home from a week at the beach with a new friend.  I never had trouble making friends.  As I got older, the process got harder and as I am approaching mid-life, it is darn near impossible to make and maintain friendships.  With kids and jobs and marriage, adults have very little extra energy to cultivate friendships.  If you move around, then you can often feel isolated.  Differences in lifestyles and jobs can cause a rift in friendships or place stress on relationships.  I am blessed to have some wonderful women in my life who are dear friends.  I know that I can call on them anytime that I need to do so!  What are you doing to cultivate friendships in your life?

Flaws at 40
I chose flaws because we should always look to improve ourselves.  But, aside from being neurotic and pushy and bossy and over sensitive, I like who I am now better than I did when I was 20.  At 20, I had no idea who I was nor did I like myself.  At 30, I was maturing and learning to love myself and love others.  At 40, I am much more fit and fun than I have ever been.  I can run farther and I eat healthier!  Granted, I am in a little more pain and I can't eat as much as I used to and my bladder is well, we as women all know ;).  Let's face it, I look at cake or pizza and gain weight.  I am smarter and have more common sense than I ever have!  I am enjoying life and can't wait to  see what my 5th decade brings!

Hop over to Proverbs 31 Mama for her blog hop! 

ABCs of Me: Exceptionally Eager and Easy Expectations

We began school this week and so far my students have been exceptionally eager and easy.  I spent 2-3 days the week before copying and punching holes and getting notebooks ready.  Then, last Friday, I met with each student and gave them their curriculum.   We discussed what was expected of them.  They had to fill in their calendars with what they are to do.  They have sheets for weekly planners where they filled in what they were to do each day.  I figured out some years ago that my kids love a to do list.  Well, this way each child has their own to do list for everyday.  They mark out when they have done a subject with either a check mark or an X or even using a sticker.  This has made life so much more simple.  Even my Kindergartner has a planner.  I did this one.  It tells him what pages to do in his book and what to read.  It tells him what to read(or have me read) and what the letter of the week is.  We discussed that he may work ahead but not fall behind unless he is sick.  He is already moving ahead and exceeding my expectations. 

My older ones are loving this freedom and as long as they master 95% of what the material that they study, they have freedom to learn.  Not mastering it means that I come back in and reteach the material.  More than a few times of lower than 95% mastery, we will sit down and discuss what needs to be done to get them back to mastering their curriculum.  I believe that giving them this freedom is helpful for them to become self-motivated.  I will not be going to college or to work with them to motivate them.  That motivation has to come from within themselves.  I am glad to see that when I come downstairs with my coffee that my kids have finished more than 1/2 their work without my having to pester or nag.  They will be rewarded for their behavior accordingly.  If they finish their work, then we have time for field trips and play dates and fun times.
I didn't come up with these ideas all on my own.  I was doing some of it before I met Joanne Calderwood at a local home school convention.  She is the mom who says on her website, URtheMom.com

 "Welcome, Y'all!

My name is Joanne Calderwood,
and I am an underwhelmed Mom of eight kids."

I resonated with that!  I wanted to be underwhelmed not overwhelmed.  I spent the 1st few years being exhausted and feeling like I was running behind and schooling while nursing or pregnant or sick and well, being overwhelmed.  I sat in on her seminars and bought her book The Self-Propelled Advantage.  I got to sit down with her during the convention and talk to her.  I loved how real she is and how I wanted my kids to have what her kids have.  With that in mind, I devoured that book and highlighted it and wrote in it.  I was pleased to see that I was doing over 1/2 what she laid out in the book.  I just had a little more to go.  
I don't do everything that she does because we are different.  I still read the Bible with my kids every morning and we do 2 other subjects together(science and history).  But, after my short time of teaching(20 minutes max),  they are responsible for the experiments and timelines and worksheets, etc.  As they grow and they become interested in different things, they can choose to study what they want.  I want them to tailor their education according to their personalities and their likes and dislikes.  I want them to WANT to learn and not consider it drudgery.

  This is my "E" post and I am a week late but getting ready, set, go for school and then we had a stomach bug so I guess better late than never!  Join Proverbs 31 Mama  for some more great blogs hopping along with us!

I was in no way compensated for my review of Joanne's book or website(other than personal gratification).  I am boasting about it because I think she and they are amazing so you should believe me even more cause I ain't got paid! 

ABCs of Me: Cussing, Carolina, & Coffee

My past posts on this blogging journey have been pretty intense. For the letter C, I thought I would lighten it up a little bit!  If you missed the last 2, you can see them here and here. You can read the others traveling on the journey with me at Proverbs 31 Mama.  Here we go!

Cussing

I dislike cussing or cursing, whichever you might say.  So many people just let the words fly in their everyday vernacular and they never realize that they are even saying it.  What happened to the days when men didn't use foul language around women?  I guess that respect for others has gone down the drain.  That being said, when I ask people at work to control their cussing, they do respect me enough to try.  One girl even introduced me to her friends as the woman trying to change the world 1 tongue at time.  This type of language can be effective.  If people heard me utter words like that, they would back up and know I mean business.  But, when you drop the "F" bomb like you would the word "the," the effect is lost.

 Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.   Ephesians 4:29

Carolina

I was born in North Carolina and grew up since 4 in South Carolina!  I am a Carolina girl in my heart, born and bred.  I love my North Carolina Tarheels and pull for the South Carolina Gamecocks except when they play my Heels.  I know my history of both states.  I am proud of my southern accent and I can place a SC accent to within 50 miles.  I have no desire to live any farther north or south.  I love when people tell me that I sound southern.  Well, I am!  I may sound quaint or stupid depending on who is commenting but I still love the sound of a southern accent over any other one in the nation.  No offense to any other states but I think that the Carolinas are the best 2 in the union.  We have beaches, mountains, rivers, and, of course, Pepsi, fried chicken, Low Country boils, and grits.  Bless your hearts!

Coffee

I like, nay, love coffee.  I can't start my day without it!  Danger to those who encounter me before I have had it!  Just kidding(maybe)!  Coffee is wonderful!  I want to drink it so hot that it burns going down.  I will drink it black or with creamer.  I will not drink it cold!  Cold coffee drinks are an abomination and I avoid them at all costs.  I found a lump in my breast several years ago and the doctor suspected that it was a cyst.  He advised me to go without caffeine for a few weeks.  Everyone in my home was miserable!  Am I addicted?  Maybe but I can stop.  I really can! 

If you blog and want to join up with us, please do so!  I am going to go and enjoy this beautiful Carolina day with a cup o' Joe!