Friday, August 17, 2012

Mom Olympics

All the hype with the Olympics got me thinking.  I respect all the work that the athletes put into training and competing but I, too, train everyday.  I train at being a mom, wife, woman, employee and Christian.  So, I came up with my own events for the Mom Olympics.

The Opening Ceremonies:
Stay-at-home moms, working moms, nursing moms, bottle feeders, older moms, younger moms, moms who gave birth, moms who chose adoption all marching in the park together as a show of solidarity.  We are all moms no matter what we make look like.

Events in which to compete:
The Pentathlon:  5 events- the long nights of no sleep, the 80 ft toy jump, the laundry throw, 200 m grocery run, and the diaper changing wrestle.

The Carry all: This is one in which I will personally compete.  Try to carry as much as possible so you won't have to make as many trips.  I warn you that I am a tough competitor in this.  I have been known to carry up to 10 bags of groceries from the van to the house.  I have, also, carried 2 children, a diaper bag, my purse and the mail all without dropping anything.

The 200 m Toy Jump: Athletes must run and jump over toys of varying sized that are laid in their paths.

The Marathon Clean: Just when you think you are done cleaning the house, you turn around and it is messy again with no end in sight.  This isn't an event for those with no endurance.

100m Freestyle Swim in Paperwork: Filling out forms for doctors or schools requires a certain amount of stamina and patience.  Contestants will compete to get them all filled out with proper forms of identification and insurance cards and anything else that is necessary to make sure that you don't get the look from the judge.  You know the look!  The one of pity that expresses the sentiment that you just don't have it all together.

4x100 Relay Obstacle Course: For this 1, you will pair up with other mothers to run a relay of obstacles all while trying to get ready to go somewhere.  While applying mascara, you must navigate the arguing of your kids.  While trying to get a shower, another mother must complete the shower without a child barging in.  While trying to get everyone dressed, a 3rd mom must keep all the kids clean and neat until everyone including her husband and herself are ready.  The 4th mom must navigate the freeway during rush hour with fighting kids, a crying baby, and to top it off, she has to go pee.

The WalMart Rush:  In this event, which might be the hardest, the mom must take her kids into WalMart to go shopping all without the kids asking for anything.  She cannot receive dirty looks or comments like "you sure do have your hands full".  No one can get lost or run through the store.  This event is only for the most disciplined of mothers.

So good luck!  In which events would you excel?  Have a blast!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...