Who Am I?

A couple of weeks ago, I tried to discuss some theological ideas with someone.  A comment from 1 of her friends got me thinking about a few things:

#1 Facebook is probably not the place to discuss such issues.

#2 Some people will just never "get it".

#3 When people see something they don't understand, they either accept it readily or ridicule it.

In this case, the friend of a friend was ridiculing the conversion of someone else.  You may have read recently that I went to my 20th high school reunion.  I can safely say that I am not the same person now that I was then.  I did all kinds of things that were wrong and didn't build up the Kingdom of God.  On the contrary, I did everything I could to destroy the temple of the Lord(my body).  I made every wrong choice.  I questioned God.  I abandoned Him.  I turned away from Him.  I even cursed Him a time or 2.  I was truly a child of the devil in that I displayed his characteristics.  My heart was wounded, my soul was blackened and my spirit was in despair.  Suicide was on the table as an option.
The above friend was commenting on how another person had done everything bad under the sun but now "had found Jesus" and so was holier than thou in her attitude.  I had done everything bad under the sun.  But, at 25, I "found Jesus".  Or rather, He rescued me!  He showed me that He had a plan for my life(Jeremiah 29:11) and that despite screwing up, that plan was still valid.  The Planner always knows when there are contingencies.  I told Jesus that I was just too bad!  Why would He want someone as evil and depraved as I was?  He said, "The prettiest stained glass windows are made up of broken pieces."  He wanted to make something beautiful out of my depravity.  Jesus began to take those dirty pieces of crumbled spirit and clean them and put them together to make something beautiful. 

From the outside, I appear to be the same person: same hair, same eyes, same skin.  But on the inside, the change couldn't be more radical.  My desire to do the will of the Father.  Notice I said my desire.  I don't always do what I desire to do.  Often, I do those things I don't want to do and don't do those things I want to do(Romans 7:15).  I try to live a life that will bring glory to my Heavenly Father.  I want to honor Him.  There are those who remind me of who I was but they are not of God.  I am not who I was.  When people are so radically changed, others find themselves looking in on the change and not understanding it.  They, then, try to compare the old and the new and when that doesn't work, they try to compare the new person with themselves. Imagine a caterpillar watching the transformation of another caterpillar.  The 1 caterpillar is changed into a beautiful butterfly.  The other caterpillar just sits staring at the butterfly and ridicules its wings and colors and the ability to fly.  "You are really just a caterpillar and you will always be a caterpillar.  Nothing more!  All this "change" is just for show and you will never truly transform."  The contrast between the 2 becomes  stark and makes the other caterpillar feel unsure about themselves.  When in fact, both caterpillars have the chance to go through metamorphosis.  Unlike the caterpillars, we humans have to make that choice.  Our nature is to stay the same!  We have to let God in and let Him transform us into a new creation.
I am not pretending that my past didn't happen but I am not letting it rule my present or my future.  I know who I am in Christ and while words of ridicule may hurt my feelings, they cannot change that!  Thank You God for continuing Your work in me!

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to give you hope and a future, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.

Romans 7:15: I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

Romans 12:2: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

Push Ups For Donuts

 

There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending school in Utah. Brother Christianson taught at this particular school. He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into Brother Christianson's class.

 

Steve was told that he could not be late, so he arrived just seconds before the bell rang and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first to leave after the class was over.

 

One day, Brother Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. After class, Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?" Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do."

 

Then Brother Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?" Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."  "200? That's pretty good, Steve," Brother Christianson said.  "Do you think you could do 300?" Steve replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time."

 

Do you think you could?" Again asked Brother Christianson. "Well, I can try," said Steve. "Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," Brother Christianson said. Steve said, " Well ... I think I can... Yeah, I can do it." Brother Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday."

 

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, Brother Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts. Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited - it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend.

 

Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want a donut?" Cynthia said, "Yes." Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"

 

Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk. Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe do you want a donut?" Joe said, "Yes." Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut.

 

And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got their donut. And down the second aisle, till Bro. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was captain of the football team and center of the basketball team. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship. When Bro. Christianson asked, "Scott do you want a donut?" Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?" Bro. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."

 

Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then." Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?" Steve started to do ten pushups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"

 

Bro. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.

 

Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Bro. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry.

 

Bro. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?" Jenny said, "No." Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut.

 

By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of effort to get these pushups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

 

Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he did ten pushups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. So Robert began to watch Steve closely.

 

Bro. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat along the heaters along the sides of the room. When Bro. Christianson realized this; he did a quick count and saw 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.

 

Bro. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.

 

Steve asked Bro. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?" Bro. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your pushups. You can do them any way that you want." And Bro. Christianson went on.

 

A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come." Bro. Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten pushups for him." Steve said, "Yes, let him come in."

 

Bro. Christianson said, "Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?" "Yes." "Steve, will you do ten pushups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve did ten pushups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

 

Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then started on those seated on the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each pushup in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. Sweat was dropping off of his face and, by this time, there was not a dry eye in the room.

 

The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very popular. Bro. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut? Linda said, very sadly, "No thank you."

 

Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda.

 

Then Bro. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?" Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, "Bro. Christianson, can I help him?" Bro. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, he has to do it alone. Steve, would you do ten pushups so Susan can have a donut?"

 

As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 pushups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

 

Brother Christianson turned to the room and said. "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, plead to the Father, "Into thy hands I commend my spirit." With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, he collapsed on the cross and died. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten."